My Silence hasn't been golden, yet shouting hasn't been this much fun in years!

My beautiful baby Apple Mac Power Book as well as my adopted child my Canon 40 D was stolen last month.It felt literally like I lost my mind. Everything was on my Laptop, including my 12 Chapters of the book I was writing. in time like these a "back-up" are holy words that sooths the pain of loss like one of my mother herbal ointments. However my life did not stock this cream anymore, since my CD case with my Back -ups also seemed to escape my flat in the dead of night. So I am left with a book that is only typed in my head and a my mid year graphics exhibition coming up with a mere mac Power Book Packaging to exhibit. No, you do not want to be me this month. I have always clicked my heals together when we sang Nkosi Sikelela and stared at our Y flag thinking I lived in the most beautiful diverse country in the world. However this loss of my mac has left a bitter taste in my mouth. This was more than a patriotic predicament, but a employment catastrophe as well. You see every week I had to write for a local little news paper a "Proudly South African Article. What to write when all of sudden you fear your own room and can still smell the presence of your imposter's above your bed? According to the police I was drugged and there where at least 2 accomplices. However this did not give me "Get out of Writing SA article card" Instead my deadline was moved ahead. Eouch!Anyway i wrote an article and it was published, however my new take on SA did not even receive a paragraph of honor.

I am reading a book called Ja,No man by Richard Poplack. Its of The List from Exclusive books. It is set in the Apartheid era, yes sigh all my SA friends, Not another one of these! Yet I find it highly entertaining with a fresh English perspective on everything. I have often found myself laughing out loud. It has shown me a part of the Afrikaner Culture I do not wish to associate myself with.

I am part of the transformed South africa, the Rainbow nation child, where the release of Nelson Mandela is one of my first memories. I like to think I am not tainted by the Apartheid mind-set. However the occurance with my laptop and camera was a challenge to my belief in this country and the future it held for me.

I dated a Englishmen from Brittan and would endlessly argue the good points of SA, the growing economy, the established rights, etc. He firmly believed Brittan was a far better option to call your home. However now all good aspect of SA seam to fade into shadow of not feeling save anymore. The Month of May also hads its own drama where 5 men surrounded my car and started pulling on my doors, demanding I open for them, in broad day light at a "save" robot!

I am starting to idealize foreign countries such as Europe and exotic places. This is weird development into this passionate South African mind of mine. (I wanted to be president more, than I wanted to be Miss Sa as a child). However in a discussion with a friend, I realized that we need to stick and change this place that I used to love call home.